The rehearsal dinner is more than just a meal—it’s the perfect moment to gather your closest people, relax, and soak in all the love and excitement before the wedding day madness begins. It’s also a great time to finalize those all-important wedding vows and make sure everything is ready for the big day. Think of it as the ultimate warm-up for the main event. So, how do you make this party-before-the-party something truly special? Let’s break it down

What’s the Deal with Rehearsal Dinners, Anyway?

First things first, what exactly is a rehearsal dinner? Traditionally, this event was a formal, sit-down dinner hosted by the groom’s parents on the night before the wedding. The guest list was usually limited to immediate family and the wedding party. But let’s be real—wedding traditions have come a long way! Nowadays, couples are shaking things up by hosting more casual, personalized rehearsal dinners that reflect their vibe. Whether it’s a backyard BBQ, a cozy pizza night, or an elegant rooftop soiree, the rehearsal dinner has become a fun, creative way to kick off the wedding weekend in style! In fact, as informal as this sounds, for our rehearsal dinner we met in the back room of a local pub that we frequent. Since we’re regulars, the owner let us use the whole private room for free and it was awesome!

But beyond just being a pre-wedding party, the rehearsal dinner has a practical side, too. It’s your chance to literally rehearse—walk through the ceremony, make sure everyone knows where to stand, and iron out any last-minute details. Plus, it’s the perfect opportunity to spend quality time with your inner circle before the big day. This is usually when toasts are made, stories are shared, and gifts might be given to your bridal party or parents as a thank-you for their support. It’s all about setting the tone for the wedding day, giving everyone a chance to relax and connect, and making sure you’re all on the same page before the big event. Whether you keep it traditional or make it your own, the rehearsal dinner is an essential (and super duper fun) part of the wedding experience!

Who’s Running the Show?

Alright, let’s talk logistics. Traditionally, the groom’s parents would take charge of the rehearsal dinner, but these days, it’s totally up to you. Maybe you and your partner want to host, or perhaps a group effort with both families sounds more your speed. And if your parents are divorced, this can sometimes add another layer to the decision-making process. In these cases, it’s not uncommon for both sets of parents to contribute financially or for one parent to take the lead while the other offers support in different ways. The key here is open communication—talk through who’s willing and able to pitch in so there are no surprises down the line.

Whatever the arrangement, it’s important to decide who’s responsible for what early on. According to The Knot’s Real Weddings Study, the average cost of a rehearsal dinner is around $2,750, so having a clear understanding of who’s covering the finances will help you steer your planning in the right direction.

TIPS FOR PLANNING YOUR REHEARSAL DINNER: YOUR ULTIMATE PRE-WEDDING PARTY GUIDE

Theme Time: Make It Your Own!

Here’s where things get fun: picking a theme! The rehearsal dinner is the perfect place to express your personality as a couple, so think outside the box! Love the beach? How about a seaside bonfire with acoustic music? Are you foodies? Consider a food truck fiesta where your guests can sample different cuisines. Into vintage vibes? A 1920s-themed cocktail party could be perfect. Whatever theme you choose, let it reflect something meaningful to you and your partner. This is your chance to set the tone for the wedding weekend!

Feed Your People: Crafting the Perfect Menu

Let’s be honest—the food at your rehearsal dinner is going to be a big deal. Whether you’re working with a caterer, choosing a favorite restaurant, or going for something casual like a cookout, your menu should fit the theme and feel of your event. Consider incorporating local flavors or family recipes for a personal touch. If your wedding is on a Saturday, maybe a laid-back Friday night taco bar is just what everyone needs. Don’t forget to think about dietary restrictions, and maybe even throw in a signature cocktail or two for extra flair. I know for my inner circle, good food equals happy people!

TIPS FOR PLANNING YOUR REHEARSAL DINNER: YOUR ULTIMATE PRE-WEDDING PARTY GUIDE

Location, Location, Location: Where’s the Party At?

Choosing the right location for your rehearsal dinner is all about convenience and vibe. You’ll want to pick a spot that’s easy for your guests to get to, especially if they’re traveling. Think about proximity to your wedding venue, but also consider the atmosphere you want to create. Whether it’s a charming local bistro, your parents’ backyard, or a trendy downtown loft, the venue should match the mood of the evening. And don’t be afraid to get creative—your rehearsal dinner location is a great way to surprise and delight your guests.

Who’s Invited? Building Your Guest List

Once you’ve got the basics down, it’s time to figure out who’s coming. Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner guest list includes the wedding party and immediate family, but why stop there? Consider inviting out-of-town guests, close friends, or anyone else who’s played a special role in your journey. This is your chance to spend quality time with the people you care about most before the wedding day whirlwind begins.

And here’s a pro tip: remember your first day wandering in the middle school cafeteria looking for a seat? (Not fun…) A seating chart can help keep things organized and ensure everyone feels included!

TIPS FOR PLANNING YOUR REHEARSAL DINNER: YOUR ULTIMATE PRE-WEDDING PARTY GUIDE

Activities to Keep the Party Going!

The rehearsal dinner isn’t just about eating—it’s also a time for meaningful moments and a whole lot of fun. In addition to the traditions we talked about earlier, you could also plan a surprise, like a slideshow of memories or a round of fun trivia about the bride and groom. Whatever you choose, make sure it adds to the celebratory vibe of the evening.

Pro Tip: If you decide to play trivia, be considerate to not embarrass each other or your parents! I once went to a rehearsal dinner where, during her speech, a bridesmaid went into details about the time she and the bride snuck out of their parents’ house. (The parents weren’t happy, and the bride had no idea she would be telling that story 😬)

Invitations: Get ‘Em Out in Time!

Last but not least, let’s talk invitations. Once you’ve nailed down the guest list and who’s hosting, it’s time to send out those rehearsal dinner invites. According to wedding planner Laura Maddox of Magnolia Celebrates in Atlanta, Georgia, whoever foots the bill for the event typically gets the final say on who’s invited. They’re also responsible for sending out the invitations—with their names as the hosts—and managing the RSVPs. This means they have a bit more control over the guest list, ensuring the dinner fits both the budget and the vibe they envision.

As for timing, make sure the rehearsal dinner invites go out after your wedding invitations, or even include them in the same envelope for those who are invited to both. Aim to send them out 30-45 days before the big day so your guests have plenty of time to plan. Whether you choose a formal printed invite or a more casual e-vite, make sure it reflects the tone of the event and includes all the details your guests need, like the time, location, dress code, and any special instructions. After all, this invite sets the stage for the “party before the party,” so make it count!

Pro Tip: with all the issues we’ve been having lately with the USPS, it’s never a bad idea to follow up with those who didn’t RSVP. 👍 Two of my couples recently told me that their invitations never even made it to half their guests!

Your rehearsal dinner is more than just a prelude to the big day—it’s a chance to create lasting memories with the people who matter most. Whether you’re sticking to tradition or creating your own, make it a reflection of who you are as a couple. With thoughtful planning, a dash of creativity, and a focus on what truly matters, your rehearsal dinner will be the perfect start to your wedding weekend. So, embrace the moment, enjoy the process, and get ready to kick off your celebration in style. Cheers to making your rehearsal dinner as unforgettable as the wedding itself! 🥂